A blog about travel, books and navigating your twenties in one piece

Sunday, 14 February 2016

On Dating Myself

Saw this on Alice's Twitter this morning and thought it summed everything up perfectly

I remember when reading Carrie Hope Fletcher's wonderful book, All I Know Now, I really loved her chapter on the importance of knowing how to date yourself. As someone who spent what I would consider 'the defining years' of her life in a long-term relationship (for my age), I've learnt a lot about this over the past few months.

Granted, it sounds like an odd concept. But it's not necessarily about literally taking yourself out to dinner, although if you're up for doing that, great - go for it! For me, it's more about enjoying spending time alone. When I was fifteen, just before my said relationship started, I didn't really like to spend time alone. In fact, I'd try so very hard not to have much time alone that I'd try and make endless plans with friends to the point where I was spending every hour I could with them. And in some ways that was great, and I have some fab memories from the days when we were essentially inseparable.

Yet, in some senses it wasn't so great. It was kind of draining after a long time and avoiding the fact that I didn't like spending time alone only made it worse when I was alone. Ultimately I think that I didn't really like myself then, and so my logic was why would I want to be alone with someone I didn't like?

That's why I think earning to 'date yourself' can be so important. More than anything in my book it's about looking after and learning to like yourself. It's giving yourself time to do yoga every day whenever you can because you know that it benefits your body and mind. It's picking yourself up some new books and making time to get lost in them with an enormous cup of tea in hand. It's buying yourself flowers to brighten up your living space and to make you smile. It's allowing yourself to not feel guilty if all you want is a massive chocolate bar and eating it.

Dating yourself, on the face of it, is really about acceptance. And exploring yourself. And as that's really my mantra for 2016, nothing could be better in my eyes than finding out what makes me happy, and that not necessarily having to be a significant other. Being single can be hard on days like today, but it doesn't have to be. If you are I recommend choosing to make today great. Take the time to relax, go out for a coffee and take your favourite book. Watch a new film at the cinema. Above all know that you're lovely and you're someone worth knowing, so get to know yourself and enjoy it. That's what I plan to do today.

Happy Valentine's Day - I hope whatever you're doing you use the day to spread a bit of love!

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